My Money’s going to Hellfest


November 19, 2014 by heavymetalblunder


After a glut of announcements from festival heavyweights over the last couple of weeks, a mystical metal festival announced a bill with unlimited stages and unlimited bands with no clashes at all.

The festival is both niche and mainstream at the same time, accommodating everybody that wanted a ticket for as much or as little as they wanted to pay, and there was also no queues for anything at all.

The festival also announced a list of stellar headlining bands, both fan favourites with festival heritage but also new to the festival at the same time, immediately pleasing all people of all tastes. They are also due to announce everybodies next favourite band in a bid to keep to flow of new music coming through.

The wide ranging and simultaneous niche appeal of the mystical metal festival, with no queues, low ticket pricing, immaculate campsites and spotless toilets really hit a chord with social media users.

Twitter user metalmike75 tweet “what about Dying Fetus!”

With Facebook user Steven Keegen commenting “Hellfest are getting my monies this year, I can’t believe you haven’t done something to get me outraged at and show my commitment to choosing another competing festival that I’m legitimately able to do, but have to complain to other people otherwise I don’t feel my decision matters.”


One thought on “My Money’s going to Hellfest

  1. oh my god….. what a crowd…..!??

    Liked by 1 person

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