Unlocking the Truth

3

July 15, 2014 by heavymetalblunder

If you haven’t already heard a kick ass group of young guys called ‘Unlocking the Truth‘ have signed a huge record deal. A deal so big it dwarfs pretty much any record deal a new band has or will be offered for a good long time $1.8 million! Not bad considering they have barely started secondary school.

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The reason the guys started playing Heavy Metal is due to bullying at a young age, which might be why it resonates with so many in the metal community. They’ll certainly be getting a lot more ass than the dickless losers that bullied them all those years ago.

Anyway, as good as they are, should they decided to change their name I have a few suggestions:

Saint Zitus
Morbid Acne
Schoolicidal Tendencies
Extreme Noise Teenagers
Our Twisted big Sisters
Strapping Young Lads

Some suggested covers for them if they need to pad out the difficult second album:

Black Sabbath – Heaven and School Bell
Megadeth – Countdown to Examination
Storm Troopers of Death – Speak English or Fail
Iron Maiden – 2 Minutes to Home time
Death – Scream Bloody Grammar
Carcass – Corporal Jigsaw Puberty
Judas Priest – Sad Wings of Detention

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3 thoughts on “Unlocking the Truth

  1. Strapping Young Lads!!
    I’m a little worried for them because my buddy posted something with the calculations, and they need to sell 250,000 albums on this first release to recoup the advance they’re getting by Sony. That’s going to be almost impossible for a new metal band.

    Like

    • Even if they released it tomorrow on the back of this publicity, they’d struggle. Very few metal bands reach 250,000 on any release. Let alone their first. No doubt the sales figures will increase with each release, good luck to them. They’ll need it.

      Like

  2. i think they are must make a song with the title is “Metal kill Hip Hop” 😀

    Like

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