July 10, 2014 by heavymetalblunder
A Police Officer has been hailed as the saviour of metal after arresting a predatory abuser of Canadian turd rockers Nickelback.
Officer R. Halford said “We have known of the threat of Nickelback for some time as Chad Kroeger is wanted for crimes against beards in Canadar. However, we never thought it would reach our town. Hopefully this is an isolated incident, but the sheer audacity to use this language in public near familties and children is terrifying”.
The CIA and Interpol have been monitoring the spread of Nickelback for the past 20 years, especially with the rise of the internet and file sharing, enabling them to promote their pointless brand of pop-grunge.
Interpol Spokeswoman Stacey Van Aaarnoltorloff held a press conference today to address the situation ” We need to stop the lies and present the facts about Nickelback. We cannot and will not have our children and our airwaves subjected to this. Nickelback promote the belief that everyone wants to be a rockstar, however, the only people that benefit from this are the band themselves. These charlatans with their asinine and vacuous lyrics need to be stopped”.
This is not the first time Nickelback have come under investigation recently. They are currently being sued by London City Council after an open air concert last year inadvertently sent most of the City’s Zoo animals into early hibernation
Nickelback were unavailable for comment.